So here is the thing.
The trouble is not in writing. The trouble is in finding interesting stuff to write about honestly. I pick up a couple of topics every now and then and drop it after I shove it through the bullshit checker.
That is just one checker of many. There is the maudlin marker, the cliche counter, and the me-too measurer.
Below is a checklist of topics that I want to write about but dare not write; then end up writing about – and feel like a heel because I gave in and produced exactly the kind of writing I hate. Just because it is a life-affirming, mind blowjobbing, explosion of inner me doesn’t make it a good read for everyone.
That Insanely Amazing Book That I Read – High on the me-too measurement. Rehashing book synopsis, gushing generically about the characters, humblebragging about busy life and fucking off to the next mindless book. As if the “writing style is engaging”, “the ending killed me”, “I want to read more/burn more of the author’s work” and “it changed my life” makes me any less of an asshole to the next person I run into who is just going about his day grumpily.
Global Eye Opening World Travel – This sets the ethnocentricity denial meter off the chart. I gave up after I heard of flickr + google images + google maps + every delusional creative-types traveling to discover themselves. If I can’t put out something better than what they put out, um, why even (I learned that that abrupt ending is an expression nowadays. Why even? I love it.) I went to Singapore! Um, so did a gajillion bajillion other people. I ate this meat, that veggie, and that other thing. So? They also have Zika! It opened my closed eye briefly. I am still another potential passenger who abuses airline customer care and for United Airlines to maul. That’s all. Passport stamp collector. My ass.
Those Tenderest of Parental Journeys – Jeez, everybody gets it. Baby products, missed sleep times, crappy diapers, judgemental other parents, suddenly sprouted social and civic sensitivities. Oh, also, let’s all slow down and watch the amazing process of a rat like human blossom into an Adonis or Venus. Yeah right. Very interesting. note: most little runts end up as bloody big runts. That’s all.
Oooohhh Depression – There is a reason why godmen and gods are still in circulation. We all want to die orgasmically but are struggling through bravely. I suspect everybody is just one clever question away from the black dog. But soon I realized that all I have are off-white dogs. With that realization, I tried turning it a shade grayer, but it became whiter. Bloody snowy dog. (plus its just middle-class angst). The truly poor cant write or are busy trying to live. The truly rich are… umm. I hope they don’t blog.
That Ant That Crawled Up The Crack of The Corner Post – I get it. Recording the insignificant. That fuck all trivia that I blow up into a life-changing revelation. The blogging equivalent of sawing a stage bunny magic trick.
Hitting the Pause Button in A Zooming Life
Food This, Food That, And Random Body Parts
Rad Feminism and Dismantling the System
It’s Not called a Quirk; Its called Being a Douche/Tight Ass
That Art Hustle sitting on the Couch/Kitchen Desk after you Quit That Real Job
Unfunny Funnies and Trippy Tragedies
Oh no, Not another Tech Entrepreneur
Oh no, Not Another Travel Entrepreneur
Of wifis and Shows